Flaming Red Dishwater

Here’s something a little different on FSWC. An alcoholic beverage that definitely falls into the wanton excess category.

The Introduction

I created this drink when I was in college and happily gave it out to anyone that asked (girls!). Unfortunately I can’t find the original recipe and I haven’t made it for a while. But it’s essentially just a garbage punch so you can’t screw it up too badly. Just make sure you have a variety of liquors. If you try to make this with too few flavors it will just taste like alcohol mixed with soda/pop.

Besides meeting new people most of the fun of this drink was telling them why it was called Flaming Red Dishwater and listing the ingredients. Read the preparation section for an explanation of the name.

The drink is never actually lit on fire but it has enough liquor in it to be considered flammable.

The Warning

This drink is POTENT and not for the average consumer. If you only go out to party on New Year’s Eve then this drink is not for you. You are an amateur. Experienced drinkers only!  …unless you’re a cute girl…

The Equipment

1 empty 2-liter bottle

Funnel (optional)

The Ingredients

8 oz. Smirnoff Vodka

8 oz. Bacardi Light Rum

4 oz. Seagrams Gin

4 oz. Jack Daniels, Jim Beam or Crown Royal

4 oz. Southern Comfort or Yukon Jack

2 oz. DeKuyper Triple Sec

2 oz. DeKuyper Peach Schnapps

6 oz. Sweet & Sour Mix

6 oz. Cranberry Juice

14 oz. Cott Half and Half Grapefruit Soda – this is what gives it a citrus-y zing that cuts most of the liquor taste. You can use 7-Up or Sprite in a pinch.

2 oz. Rose’s Grenadine Syrup (non-alcoholic)

Generous splash of Bacardi 151 Rum

The Back Story

I hastily invented this drink while getting ready to go to a party. Everyone else drank beer but I’ve never really liked beer so I needed my own adult beverage. I didn’t have much time to make something but I did know that I would need a lot of it for sharing. Luckily I had plenty of liquor on hand. Since I was making it up I didn’t measure anything. I had to keep looking at it and tasting it. I didn’t intend for it to take up a full two-liter bottle but in the end it did.

The Preparation

Pour the Vodka, Rum and Gin into the bottle. Next pour in the Jack Daniels and Southern Comfort. Pour the Triple Sec and Peach Schnapps in too.

At this point liquor should consume about 1/2 of the bottle. It’s always fun to point to a spot on the bottle and say, “there’s this much liquor in here!”

Next, add the Grapefruit Soda (Cott) and Sweet & Sour mix. Shake the bottle vigorously for 15 seconds.

Sorry…put the cap on the bottle and shake it again.

At this point, depending on how clear the bottle is, you will have a concoction that looks like soapy dishwater. When creating this drink I stopped here to take a look and thought, “wow, that doesn’t look appetizing at all!” So I figured some color would help and I added Cranberry juice. [Go ahead and add the Cranberry juice. Jeez…are you following along at all?]

Unfortunately the Cranberry juice didn’t change the color enough. Now it just looked like dishwater with Cranberry juice in it.

So next I added some Grenadine syrup. The Grenadine syrup has a deeper red that helps change the color into something more girl-friendly.

Shake the bottle again (did you remember the cap?)

Finally, open your mouth and give yourself a generous splash of Bacardi 151 Rum.

What do you mean “no”? Why not? There’s a ton of alcohol in this drink! Did you think we were going to add even more? 😉

Fine. Add the 151 to the bottle if you must.

The Pour

Prepare this the night before and you will be able to stick it in the refrigerator to chill. Otherwise you can serve it over ice the day of the party. I typically drank it right from the bottle.

The Hangover

Your teeth should not have little individual socks on them but for some reason after a night of Flaming Red Dishwater that’s what you’ll get. Hopefully you got some phone numbers too.

The Final Warning

If there is any dishwater left, DO NOT LOOK AT IT. The sweet & sour mix…does things…evil things..to this drink that are not appetizing no matter how much grenadine syrup you add. Think “brain hemorrhage“.

Thanks for reading and enjoy your Flaming Red Dishwater (responsibly)!

“Man with hangover” Creative Commons image courtesy Simon Rankin

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