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New Prescription-Only Sandwich Cures Swine Flu

With all of this talk about the Swine Flu maybe we need a more effective prescription delivery system. This is an old Onion article about a prescription-only sandwich that is extra delicious!

FTA: “Hoagizine, a pharmaceutical-grade Turkey-Bacon-Guacamole Melt so delicious, it’s only available by prescription. Made with lean white turkey breast, hickory-smoked bacon, zesty guacamole, Boston leaf lettuce, and ripe tomatoes on crusty French bread.”

The hickory-smoked bacon is the best vaccine for Swine Flu. This is powerful stuff so please consult your doctor to see if you have enough Swine in your Flu to ingest Hoagizine.

FTA: “In Pfizer’s lab tests, common side effects of the sandwich included a bloated or drowsy feeling, thirst, and a heightened desire for a side order of chips. If discomfort occurs, patients are urged to temporarily discontinue use of the Turkey-Bacon-Guacamole Melt and lie down on the couch”


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